Why do I Yawn at the Gym??

I don't get it!

• I generally get more than enough sleep, unless I decide to watch porn for 3 hours at night.
• I'm up already for like 5-8 hours before I step foot in the gym.
• I took a pre-workout formula for energy.
• I've got so much blood coursing through my body, that that embarrassing face-vein is beginning to show.
• And I'm scared shitless of all this heavy weight crushing down on me! Why the hell am I yawning??

When you work out muscles, they need oxygen. It is the lack of oxygen taken into the body which makes you yawn, regardless of how awake you are. The more your blood courses through your body, the more you yawn.

IE: Sleeping to waking. You wake. You move. You use blood to do it. You yawn.

You can now go to 1st grade.

So how do you solve this? Simple. Grab the plant you keep in your living room, and lug it around like an incredibly lazy (but probably better looking) workout partner. Plants give off oxygen, so you'll not only help yourself, but everyone around you! You'll be so cool, and everyone will say, "Thank God the guy with the plant is here today!"

"But Angel, I'm too poor to have a houseplant." Or maybe, "But Angel, bringing around a houseplant is unrealistic. Plus my gym charges $10 per guest because they're greedy cunts." Or maybe, "Lugging around a house plant isn't going to help your oxygen levels...especially since most are fake."

You, sir or madam, are right on all accounts. Especially the part about your gym being run by greedy fucks.

But have no fear! If you find yourself yawning while your face vein pulses, there are a few easy ways to remedy it:

1. Don't Eat!

• Lots of people suggest going to the gym on a full stomach. You should never go starving, but being stuffed is kinda...stupid. You might feel the need to vomit, get a cramp, or feel disgusting depending on how much you eat and what it was you ate. If you eat just before going to the gym, especially if the food is processed, then it sits in you colon creating toxins which fill your blood cells, and keep them from retaining the oxygen they carry. You are not a sponge. The only way oxygen is going to course through your body is if it has a place in your red blood cells.
• This is also why taking a poop gives you an awesome amount of energy. #themoreyouknow,andidn'twanttohear!

2. Breathe During Your Workouts!

• Probably the most obvious thing: ingest oxygen by breathing! Most people hold their breath, and take small sips of air (just before passing out), because they haven't trained on breathing properly.

3. Stop smoking!

• You--the one with the cigarette in their mouth. Or the weed stashed in your underwear droor. Yeah. You. Knock it the fuck off. Smoking taints your lungs and therefor your chance at utilizing fresh air. It makes your breath smell. It makes your clothes smell. It makes your teeth yellow. It costs you money you don't need to spend. It causes cancer. And, most importantly, it makes you yawn in the gym. So knock it the FUCK OFF. You're nasty. Everyone hates you.

Have a great DAY at the gym, and I hope you enjoy it without yawning! Questions? Other suggestions for yawners? Leave em below!

To Weight Gainer or Not to Weight Gainer?

++if this is helpful to you, please share it!!++

If you're a small guy who has trouble gaining the weight necessary to accommodate growth for your muscles, you need every advantage you can get. That means a dramatic lack of cardio, casein proteins at night, large meals high in carbs and proteins, and maybe even the dreaded weight gainer.

I have had my weight gainer for--oooooohhh--over a year, by now. Why? Because it's disgusting. I can't really tell if it's gone bad or if it even does, considering the taste is foul from day one. It's like buying a rotten apple, and then reminding yourself, "Oh, I better eat it within a week before it goes bad--aww man! NOW it's nasty!"

I use a product from the AMP series at GNC. Not only is it a hassle to take at times, when you aren't thinking about your workout regimen, but if other weight gainers are anything like it: the taste is disgusting.

So, if you can't stand the taste what can you do? Well, just today I decided to incorporate a bit of it into my post workout protein shake. It consists of the following:

Vanilla Promasil
Greek Yogurt
A bit of chocolate syrup
Water
& now: weight gainer.

I got a special on the Promasil, so I bought the delicious chocolate and the not-as-delicious vanilla flavor. I regret it, but I make up for the choice with a squirt of chocolate syrup. Sugars after your workout do nothing but spike your insulin, which helps your body transport minerals faster anyways, so it shouldn't be looked at as, "Oh! you're gonna get fat!" And even if it did bare that effect: who cares?? I'm tryin to gain weight here, stupid!

Greek Yogurt is a yogurt which is high in protein. I bought mine from Publix, but I'm guessing it's sold everywhere. Blended with a shake, it's great, but standalone it's an acquired taste. I use two spoonfuls.

And finally, I use water because I break out in pimples if I touch dairy stuff.

Anyway.

Mixing in the weight gainer with my shake has actually helped it blend better, and the taste is almost unnoticeable. The product suggests at least 2 or 3 scoops, but I just added one. I would have otherwise excluded it from my shake, so it's like what my old high school teachers use to tell me: "Turn in something. Something is always better than a zero."

So if you have a supplement you aren't taking because of its inconvenience or even its taste, just add it to something you would otherwise be concocting, in a reasonable dose.

LET'S FACE IT: Muscling down your nasty supplements is better than throwing them away. Who cares if you don't take the recommended dose of something you otherwise wouldn't have taken in the first place?

Why You Should NEVER Skip Leg Day!

I recently started a new routine, which I will share with you all in time. The first week involved heavy lifting, while the second introduces something I've never tried before called intensity training.

Basically, when you start an exercise for a certain muscle group, you burn it out by lifting almost to failure, and then you have a subsequent amount of sets to take on without rest. I did this for my chest a couple days ago, and I have not been the same, since. If pain is any indication of gains then this has finally hinted at a spike in results.

So, since I had a longer than normal recovery time, I lost days in the gym. My next workout is legs, and I thought to myself: Should I skip it?

The answer: HELL NO!!!

The main reason I haven't seen enough recovery is because I haven't been doing any cardio--and that pumps blood through your body, which helps you recover! But when you are trying to look BIG as opposed to lean as an ectomorph (mesoecto?) it is really hard. So any amount of blood pumping you experience through your body is best done through a leg workout.

There is a MAIN artery in your leg which viciously pumps blood through your body, which is why your heart races when you run. The artery in your leg evolved there to help your body react faster when you are running. This gives you an adrenaline boost, more oxygen in your body to help your muscles react, and fills you up with blood.

So in order to recover faster, it is smart to get off my ass, jump in the gym, and get this leg workout taken care of. This is why it's good to have your leg day follow your chest day (just in case you experience the pain of recovery, and don't want to hit a muscle that might stimulate or strain the one you're trying to recover. For instance, if your chest hurts, working out your shoulders might be a bad idea).

Since I don't do cardio, the leg workout once a week is ESSENTIAL to not only my recovery, but my boost in testosterone, (which also helps in recovery!) and a sexy chiseled butt.

LETS FACE IT: if you're poor, you're gonna need something that isn't your wallet to fill your back pocket and keep them bitches' eyes locked.

My first blog!

Hell yeah. Ready to post some pics, bitches.